there is nothing that can console me but my jolly sailor bold

Saw "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides"  and here's what I learned:

Edward from Twilight is to Vampires what Ariel is to Mermaids.

Both are tame versions to make us love vampires and mermaids because really, their species are vicious monsters.

But Mermaids are pretty damned bad ass.  I think the next Pirates movie should be Serena the Mermaid and her lover in an updated "Romeo and Juliet" tale where they try to make Mermaids be cool with the sailors and vice versa just so we can see more awesome Mermaid fights while Jack Sparrow plays both sides and comes up with fun escape methods and giving ridiculous one liners.

Or not.  I'll just leave it to the professionals